Cool Tip: The Art of Being a Good Guest ...How to Make Your Host Feel Appreciated (and get invited back!)

It’s that time of year when entertaining heats up, and house visits and dinner parties abound. While a lot of what follows is common sense, sometimes we get so busy that we forget. So here are a few simple suggestions that we’ve found help us, and we hope will help you, to be great guests.

Don’t Show up Empty-handed: Your host has spent some effort to entertain you: it’s important for you to show appreciation in return, and a hostess gift is a wonderful way to do that. A special bottle of wine is an easy and convenient gift, but if your host has an extensive wine cellar, and/or if you are unsure of your ability to pick just the right bottle, here are some good alternatives:

1. Artisanal Food: If your host is a foodie, bring an artisanal food product: chocolate, sausage, cheese - something your host will appreciate, but might not buy on their own.
2. Something Homegrown or Homemade: If you have a garden or a favorite portable recipe (marmalade, chutney or the like), bring a selection of fresh-picked produce or a homemade product. The old saying goes: there are “only two things money can’t buy: true love and homegrown ...” - a homemade treat falls into the same category.
3. A Cool Tool (you knew there would be a commercial in here somewhere): We have a lot of hostess gifts on the site, many $15 or under, that are clever and practical and will remind your host of you when they use them. Keep a small selection on hand so that you’re always prepared when you get that last minute invitation.

Offer to Help: There are just a few simple suggestions to keep in mind:

1. If you’re invited to Dinner: Often a lot of the prep for a dinner goes on before you arrive. But once you arrive, if preparations are still ongoing, ask if there is anything you can do to help. Some cooks are territorial and may find it easier to do it themselves, so don’t insist, but make it known that you are ready, willing and able to lend a hand. And unless there is a caterer or other hired person to serve and clean-up, do help take dishes to, and clear dishes from, the table. With respect to helping to wash dishes, you can offer, but again, many hosts are wedded to their own routine for dishes, so don’t insist.
2. If you’re invited to Stay Overnight: In addition to helping with the cleanup, ask your host if they would like you to strip the bed before you leave.

Always Say “Thank You” After the Event: Even if you’ve said “Thank You” several times during the visit and/or as you leave, there is no substitute for a post-visit “thanks”; it lets your host know that your appreciation was more than just transitory. The question is not “if”, but “how”. There are several good methods, and we’d love to hear more from you.

1. Hand-written Note or Thank You Card:This is the ultimate “old-school” expression of gratitude. It takes a little extra time and effort, but that shows the extra level of your appreciation.
2. Email or ecard: This is another acceptable way to express your gratitude for your host’s hospitality. It takes minimal effort, but shows your host that you recognize and appreciate their efforts.
3. Phone Call: This is always a nice touch, even if you end up leaving a voicemail.

Enjoy the season, and be a good guest!